16.

we're smearing these words across these pages like they matter more than words ever should.
sticks and stones, my god, oh my god.
they're breaking my bones.
no, they won't.
and i really won't
pretend anymore.
.

and it's becoming quite clear to me that i've always given more than received.
i've always hidden rather than having been seen.
i've always needed you more than you'd ever agree.
and before i was ever gone, you'd given up on me.
.

so. sorry for believing in the things left unseen.
sorry for having faith on the nights i'm in need.
sorry for loving you more than you'll ever love me.
just sorry
so sorry
for forgetting who you used to be.
.

and we're walking out on thin lines
but we don't know where they cross
we're still screaming out to jesus
cause we think we might be lost
we keep holding on to heaven
but tomorrow's still a prayer
i'll be coming home for christmas
but i'm not sure that you'll be there.
(i still want you there.)

-Amy Sue Rudiger