XXI.

For the last few nights I've been playing host to the most recurring of all dreams.
It's short but simple.
I'm trapped in a life I don't want to live and every time I try to move I sink a little deeper. Every time I try to run this hill gets a little steeper.
Every time I try to breathe my lungs are a little more constricted.
Every time that I get sentenced I feel a little more convicted.
Every night I wake from this harassing of my sleep to find the same song playing:
"Everything looks better from far away,
Before you see the ripples and the wrinkles.
The city looks so peaceful from far away,
Before you see the night lights turn to firefights.
We could probably sell this house from far away,
Before the dusty shelves and the creaking floorboards.
I wish that I could get to know you from far away,
Before your addictions and my insecurities."

And this song plays to my dream.
And this duo plays to my fears.
I'm afraid of a wasted life.
I'm afraid of being held back.
I'm afraid of anything that needs me.
I'm afraid of everything i lack.